Exam Hysteria

We have all been there. The final exam of the year. Nerves, yes, but also a faint whiff of excitement for the summer. That feeling that, no matter what the exam may throw at you, in 3 hours time you won't have to worry for another 3 months. The invigilator calls you all to put down your pens and a wave of cool relief washes over you... ahhh calm!

This year I have been cruelly and heartlessly deprived of that heady relief due to, what I am coining, 'exam hysteria'. Electives exams were rather ruthless and consequently we have all been drawn into a blow-by-blow dissection of each and every word we wrote on the papers. The guilt, the regret, the misery.

When I finished the paper I felt a bit disappointed but definitely confident of a pass. I stayed behind with a few friends to grab a pizza in Guildford and the self-doubt began. 

"Oh... did you include [insert relevant case]?"

"Yes question 2 was definitely about [insert relevant topic]"

"You said she worked 40 hours a week? I am pretty sure it worked out at 37.5"

I spent the drive home deflatedly mulling over each and every detail and convincing myself I had failed.  I didn't even do this for my degree finals.

But the conversations didn't stop there. All texts from friends since the exams have been exam related. Some friends repeatedly just stating that they have failed. Some friends remembering bits they did or didn't include and checking if they were in the majority. Others planning their new careers after the embarrassment of inevitably being publicly named and shamed as the University of Law's worst LPC student and then unceremoniously kicked off the course. Tiresome, but infectious. 

My personal way of dealing with anything like this is perfectly summed up in the phrase "worrying won't change a thing" so I don't understand why I have been dragged into all this pessimism. I am slowly withdrawing from the exam talk now (it has been 2 weeks!) and trying to resume with normal life. I hope that my friends can also combat this strange compulsion to berate ourselves but I fear they may need to go cold turkey.

What I can confirm is that it is most definitely catching so beware, fellow law students, and keep away from the infected.